It's the End of the World, as We Know It...... (Maybe.....)

First, I have to apologize to my wife, who would prefer that I don't post anything political. I'm sorry, honey...... But I just couldn't help myself.

R.E.M. might have been right. Prophets..... Visionaries..... Mystics.....

What am I referring to? If it wasn't obvious by the title, of course I mean the 2016 Presidential Election.

Dang, Chuck...... You're exaggerating. I mean, come on..... get real.

See, the thing is, this election is as real as it gets. And I think, depending on the outcome of the election, the title of this is 100% accurate. Allow me to explain.

Before anyone thinks I am advocating a specific candidate..... I am not. All of the candidates have warts of significant size. This truly is an election where there is no good choice.

But there is one horrific, societal- and planet-altering choice that we must not make. And that choice we can not make is to elect Donald Trump as our President.

I'd wager that I have traveled internationally far more than the majority of my Facebook friends..... to Asia, Europe, Australia, the Caribbean..... I regularly read international publications, communicate regularly with friends in other countries (beyond just work)..... not that this makes me special, or unique, but I've learned over the years to consider the perspective of American actions in the global scheme. I've experienced firsthand how people from many different cultures view individual Americans they meet, as opposed to "American society", as opposed to "American politics and policy". They are 3 only semi-related treatments and understandings.

And uniformly, every single person I have spoken with, outside of the U.S., has expressed a common opinion - horror at the idea that Trump could win the Presidency. And shock that it's even gotten to being this close to a reality.

Why should we care? Shouldn't we be worried about what is in the best interest of the U.S., and maybe that's Trump? 

Maybe. But the world would be different, in potentially irrecoverable ways.

I've read dozens of articles online, in magazines, in newspapers, from both domestic and international sources. But I don't know if any of them have hit upon the single thing that I think a Trump presidency would shake to the core. And it's this:

Under a Trump presidency, the U.S. would no longer be the moral compass (i.e. the moral leader) for the world.

Period.

You see, everybody looks to the U.S. for leadership - not just for military power, or "policing" international affairs that inherently don't touch our mainland. They also look us to do what is "right", ethically and morally. Protecting those that are unable to protect themselves. Championing policies that are good for the world, the environment, people everywhere. Even if those policies are not specifically for the benefit of the U.S., or put us first every time.

And, importantly, to put "right" above "winning". Not to worry about the balance sheet as much as worrying about what is "best". With great power (which the U.S. unabashedly has, despite those that mis-represent us as weak) comes great responsibility.

And a Trump presidency forfeits our standing as a moral compass in 2 ways.

First - it would be impossible to be considered the moral leader when our own leader is recognized, around the world, as massively immoral. Trump is horrendously flawed in many, many different ways, and certainly couldn't be a figurehead for what is right. He is a clearly articulated sexist, racist, narcissistic liar who has a very recognized history for cheating his way "to the top". He wouldn't be the first remarkably flawed president (one need only look at Hillary's husband to recognize that), but in the modern age, it's hard to come up with one that is flawed in so many different dimensions. I won't elaborate further, there are so many well-documented issues of character that it's unnecessary. (Again, Hillary has her flaws as well, though they seem more contained as Trump's. And, critically, Hillary's flaws are clearly not seen to be as thorough and inexcusable to our global partners as Trump's. Simply said, Hillary's flaws seem to be those of a standard politician. It is quite possible that some of our current allies will not even let Trump set foot in their countries, which is simultaneously inconceivable and understandable based on Trump's actions and rhetoric during the campaign.)

Second, and far more critically, Trump's campaign has changed the game regarding the U.S.'s moral and ethical responsibility. His profoundly "U.S. First" approach hasn't come in the spirit of "make the world better while we make America great". That's a win-win kind of approach. 

No, Trump's approach has been pretty clear - it's "we win, I don't care about anybody else". Our partners in NATO - if they don't pay their share, screw 'em, we won't protect them. If peaceful neighbors like Japan don't do what we want, screw 'em..... they should just get their own nukes if they're worried about North Korea.

In simple terms, we'd be wielding our power for our benefit alone. 

It would not longer be to do what is right for the world..... it would be to do what is right for us.

And every one of the forces that is on the "foe" side of the "friend or foe" realizes it. Believe that.

A Trump presidency, simply put, would change the world order in a profound way.

No longer would the strongest country in the world, the one whose military spending is equal to the sum of the next 25 countries, be thought of as a force for good.

It would be seen, worldwide, as a force for "good for us."

What happens when all of the negative forces in the world realizes that the world's policeman is permanently at Dunkin Donuts?

Let's not experience that. 

I won't tell you who to vote for. But there is absolutely somebody who I beg you not to vote for.

#NeverTrump

We're Cooking

I love my life.

I mean, I love my wife. And my life. It's pretty cool. And so is she.

It's been a while since I posted..... since then, we've had 2 AWESOME vacations. I'll come back to it at some point, but the first of them was an 8-day Caribbean cruise, bookended by a couple of days in Miami on each end. Awesome.

But this last one..... wow.

If you are into food, watch Food Network (and/or Top Chef) a lot, and can afford it (no, it's not cheap)..... get thee to Aspen for the Food & Wine Classic at some point. It's annual, and is in June, just about a perfect time to be in Aspen. 

It was a semi-bucket list thing for me. I'd seen pictures, read some things about it. When I left Apple in January, I decided "this is the year we'll do it." Shelley..... well, she humored me. Indulged me. Whatever the word, she agreed to come with me, even though she and I have different passion for food and cooking.

Wow. It was fun. 

At face value, the "Classic" is 2.5 days of seminars focusing on the best of food and drink (led by chefs and food/wine personalities you see on TV), and mass food and wine tastings under tents, set in the somewhat idyllic hamlet of Aspen. 

But that's only the start. It's much, much more. Especially if you follow the food shows and love stargazing.... as I do.

It's getting on the plane, and realizing that you're sitting 2 rows behind an Iron Chef (José Garces), and next to a former runner-up on Top Chef (Mike Isabella). And they're just cool guys.

It's hanging out near the chefs' cocktail party the night before the Classic starts..... seeing tons of celebrity chefs, and then Chopped judge (and star chef in his own right) Scott Conant comes over for a selfie. Dang nice guy.

Scott Conant..... we've been Chopped.

Scott Conant..... we've been Chopped.

It's getting up early the first "official" day of the Classic, and running a Charity 5k, organized by some of the chefs. And seeing Richard Blais (Top Chef, among others), Tim Love (Restaurant Start-up), and Marcus Samuelsson (various shows over the years) get out there with everybody else in their shorts and t-shirts. And then having Marcus be nice enough to pose for a picture, interrupting what he was doing. (And dang...... he finished 10th overall, out of over 300 runners.)

Marcus Samuelsson and Shelley

Marcus Samuelsson and Shelley

It's going to the first seminar, and seeing the legendary Jacques Pépin gleefully and impishly sabotage his daughter's plans for their demo. Or watching him happily sign books and chat with people throughout the weekend. (I shook the great man's hand.... an honor.)

Jacques Pépin, signing one of his books

Jacques Pépin, signing one of his books

It's crowding into a huge set of tents with several hundred (maybe a thousand or more) other folks, sampling wine, cheese, and bites prepared by Food & Wine's Best New Chef nominees. And some of those bites were great. (And some..... well..... weren't our thing.)

It's seeing the aforementioned Tim Love teach you simple techniques to make a great steak (use peanut or grapeseed oil..... salt from up high) - all while drinking wine straight from the bottle, and doing multiple tequila shots with audience members. Proudly showing the results of his work:

You can't see them, but the steaks Tim Love has here looked and tasted great. The taste lingers.

You can't see them, but the steaks Tim Love has here looked and tasted great. The taste lingers.

..... and then posing for pictures afterward.

Chef Tim Love with Shelley and Chuck

Chef Tim Love with Shelley and Chuck

It's about seeing Richard Blais doing some off-the-wall stuff with sandwiches.... and a couple mornings later, not really minding when you stop him and ask for a picture. (Go Giants!)

Chuck and Richard Blais

Chuck and Richard Blais

It's about getting out of the elevator with somebody you kind of recognize.... and then the next morning, realizing that he's Ken Oringer, who's co-leading a seminar on paella with Boston cooking savant Jamie Bissonette, who you chatted with while getting coffee. And it's about sharing a running joke with Ken all weekend.

Ken Oringer and Shelley, sharing a laugh

Ken Oringer and Shelley, sharing a laugh

It's sipping a Bloody Mary, and seeing recent Top Chef winner Kristen Kish just walking around town, incognito (more or less).

It's seeing Top Chef judges Gail Simmons and Hugh Acheson give a fun demo, similar to a Quickfire challenge (for those familiar with the show). And then, having wrapped up early, learning via audience Q&A the passion with which Hugh works, trying to help educate and provide better food options for his adopted country (the U.S.). Amidst a weekend of fun and somewhat frivolous entertainment, it was a beautiful, passionate, serious moment. I will follow that man from this point forward, and recommend that you do so as well.

It's a lot of standing and waiting. But sometimes that waiting is for an elevator. And then as you and 10 people wait for that door to open, it does - and current Top Chef Mei Lin steps out, and all 11 of you go instantaneously quiet. Respect for greatness.

And sometimes you're already in the elevator, and Carla Hall (The Chew) steps in. Tall cool one, that Carla. Very cool.

And finally, at the end, they have the Cook-Off, where Carla battles Andrew Zimmer (Bizarre Foods) in Top Chef-like cook-off.... with a couple of celebrities helping out. From the world of sports, John Salley (3-time NBA champion, and one of the nicest guys imaginable), and one of the top recording musical artists today, Pink. Was it a cook-off or a twist-off? It doesn't matter, it was damn fun. And at the end of it, they were all happy to pose for pictures.

Carla Hall, Dana Cowin (Food & Wine Editor-in-Chief), John Salley, Sissy Biggers, Pink, Andrew Zimmern..... and somebody I don't recognize

Carla Hall, Dana Cowin (Food & Wine Editor-in-Chief), John Salley, Sissy Biggers, Pink, Andrew Zimmern..... and somebody I don't recognize

And then Aspen empties. Like, within the matter of a few hours, it goes from bustling and heads back to the off-season.

And looking back, you realize that everybody you met was amazing. Everybody you met, no matter how famous, was approachable. Everybody gave of themselves.

And you also realize that you probably only saw and met fewer than half of the amazing chefs and personalities that were there. You probably walked by the remarkable Eric Ripert half a dozen times without realizing it, simply because you're not that great at recognizing people. And they're just people..... not traveling with massive hordes of handlers or PR guys.

And finally, at the end of it, you realize how wonderful it is when your amazing "I can burn water" wife, who all the chefs remember more than they remember you, says she had a great time.

That makes it all worth it.

'Tis true.....

'Tis true.....


One Man's (and Woman's) Trash.....

Saturday was our neighborhood's annual garage sale...... Always an interesting time in the Bretonberger household. Throughout the year, Shelley collects stuff for the sale, which is always intriguing - she is ruthless with clutter, and I still don't understand her Hogwart's Sorting Hat method: "you, you will go in the garage sale"...... "you, you will be donated to charity"..... "you, you will be thrown out". Meanwhile, a few days before the sale, I root around the house for things that are in closets or on shelves which haven't been used for a while. Shelley makes all the arrangements with friends to borrow tables, make signs, stop at the bank to pick up rolls of change and dollar bills...... I just ask "when does it start?"

I'm going to guess a lot of friends are like this - one partner doing 90% of the work, the other basically being a free rider. This said, I'd bet (as in past garage sales) that nearly 50% of the proceeds came from sales of "my" stuff. The 2 biggest items (golf clubs, and a stereo receiver, both of which were actually sold to friends before the sale actually started) came from my cache, so there's that.

I was thinking of live-blogging the sale itself, commenting on the activity and characters, but decided not to. As it turned out, this year things were really slow, and I could have done so - I think there was less advertising about the sale, and it wasn't clear when it would start (7:00 a.m, as it was). For this reason, traffic was light, and there weren't 10 people stacked up waiting when the doors opened. But we did have some fun, here's a bit of a "best of" (or "worst of," depending on how your perspective):

  • Surprising how relatively little haggling there was this year. I'm used to having to negotiate to sell just about everything...... this year, I'd guess that about 2/3 of the stuff we sold was at "list" price. Odd.
  • This said, the most frustrating person we dealt with was as a result of haggling. It was a lady...... she was interested in an item we had marked for $3, and asked if we'd take $2. Shelley said "yes". A moment later she asked if we'd take $1..... "No, but we'll take $2." And she walked away. So we basically accepted her first offer, she wanted more, and then walked away when we wouldn't capitulate further. Good riddance.
  • We reinforced that it's pointless to try to sell clothes at a garage sale (except for maybe baby clothes). Shelley had some beautiful dresses that she simply doesn't wear anymore, but only 1 of them was even tried on..... and it was by a young lady who thought it was too low-cut for her. Huh..... Color me surprised, someone from the younger generation who is that conservative. Wouldn't have expected that.
  • In addition to the dresses, Shelley tried selling some excess (but still very nice) purses. We had a lot of ladies who would pick one or more of them up and say good things, then not get them. Then we thought we had pay dirt - a group of 3 ladies came up, grabbed about 4 of the purses, and started looking at other things. They grabbed a couple other things, and looked like they were going to buy them..... and then they put everything back. Almost like it was a fantasy to have the purses, but not reality. Odd.
  • We also had a group of 3 middle-aged people who spent several minutes walking around and picking up several things from different tables. We heard them say several times "wow.... that's really nice" or similar things..... genuinely. Not the fake "oh, that's nice" you sometimes hear. And then, after a few minutes of being nothing but complimentary, they just walked away, never asking or making an offer on anything. 
  • We had our share of guys in pick-up trucks pull up to the base of the driveway, look furtively at our stuff, and drive away. Every time we saw one of them, we just looked at each other and said "no tools". Sorry guys, that ain't me.
  • Had a little fun by putting a "Make an Offer" label on my forehead, to which we got 2 distinct kind of laughs. The first, from strangers, was a cute little chuckle. The second, from those who know me/us, was a nervous "no way would we want that!" kind of laugh. Hmmm.

Shelley will come up with the final total...... probably between $150 and $200 of stuff, and more than that, it's just nice to get some of that clutter out of our place and in the hands of somebody else who can us it.

Can't wait for next year.......

Quick Hits, Chapter 2

I've been busy doing a bunch of things lately, and haven't "centered" on a specific topic..... so with that said, here's some really quick thoughts on a variety of subjects.

  • I don't know what the right response is in Baltimore (regarding the Freddie Gray situation), much as I don't know what the right response was in Ferguson, or any of a number of similar situations. But I do know that the violence which is happening is best described as "senseless", and is absolutely not the right response. 
  • If you're a fan of sports, particularly basketball, you owe it to yourself to watch and root for the Golden State Warriors in the NBA playoffs. They've been my sports passion for over 15 years, and have been a miserable franchise for most of that time. But this year something special is happening; they play an incredibly entertaining style, and have guys that you have to root for. Get on-board the train now!
  • One of the biggest surprises in my "retirement" has been the ease with which I've gotten detached from the work at Apple...... I have absolutely no longing for the days of driving to the office, working my butt off during the day and into the night with e-mails and conference calls, and then repeating it tomorrow. This said, I still am incredibly loyal and proud of the company and what it does, and consider it without peer in the areas in which it competes. The vision is remarkable in its coherence - everything that makes it to market has a purpose and ties in with the rest of the portfolio. While not perfect (no company is), it is the transparency and ethics behind the company which make it admirable. And as evidenced by the earnings report which came out today, it's apparent that people buy into that vision.
  • Speaking of Apple...... while I'm excited about the Apple Watch, and it was the final project I worked on (for over a year), I'll admit that I haven't ordered one yet. Is that an indictment of the product, a statement to wait for a second generation of the product, or something else that's negative? No. It's more a matter that I've gotten completely away from wearing something on my wrist, and haven't convinced myself yet that there's a "killer app" or use case that is going to convince me to give up the "comfort" associated with a bare wrist. That said...... almost every day I'm seeing another app or two which look really cool, so I'm getting close to sacrificing that wrist space.
  • (Note: if you have a Watch, let me know what you like or dislike about it, and any "must have" apps for it.)
  • I opened this with a comment about the tragedy unfolding in Baltimore..... realistically, my mind is more on the tragedy related to the earthquake in Nepal. Probably unknown to many, I've had an interest in Mt. Everest for years, having read many books and other accounts from adventurers on the mountain. As has been reported in some outlets, climbers on Mt. Everest were affected, with at least 18 reported deaths, and probably more to come as one of the major obstacles in the ascent - and descent - was damaged by an avalanche caused by the quake. While the devastation of the country as a whole is heartbreaking, which is magnified by the poverty and lack of medical personnel and facilities available, the specific situation and tragedy on Everest is particularly wrenching for me.
  • Speaking of...... well, what exactly, I don't know. But one thing I actually do miss since leaving Apple is the travel. Yes, it was long, arduous, uncomfortable..... but there was also some sense of adventure with it. And in light of several factors (my "free" time, ability to contribute, love of travel), I started thinking today about how I could do the world some good by volunteering to help others out who need it. Sort of like "Habitat for Humanity" kind of stuff (though not necessarily that specific cause). Shelley and I have several things coming up over the next 6 months which will limit my ability to jump in and do something, but if anybody has a suggestion for a cause that I might be able to help out with (without putting myself in too much peril), please let me know.

Wishing everybody the best, and thanks for reading.

Quick Hits, Chapter 1

Just got back from some travel.... been struggling to come up with time to write something, and a good, deep subject to delve into. With no specific answer to that, here's a couple of quick comments on subjects, to try to gain some mental momentum.

Journey of a Lifetime

Well, that's what I would call it, at least. I've got to hand it to my friend, Garrett Bastable. A co-worker of mine for 4-5 years at Apple (he's still there), he just experienced something we can probably all envy, both for the majesty of it and the courage required to undertake it. In simplest terms - Garrett was one of the sailing party of 3 that just sailed from the big island of Hawai'i to San Francisco aboard a 55-foot catamaran. Over 13 days, they sailed approximately 3000 miles, out in the middle of the deep blue sea, er, ocean. 

Dang. That's pretty cool. I probably should look at doing something like that, considering that time isn't that big a deal for me (i.e. I have relatively few time commitments). The big question, though, is "do I have the nerve to do something like that?" Stay tuned.

And if you want to read about the journey from Hawaii to San Francisco, there's a fantastic blog and website (I believe managed by the boat's captain, Eric) at Voyage of the Zephyr

Congrats, Garrett. You the man. (Note: this statement is not intended to be ironic, in light of the next part of this post. It just seems that way.)

Who Are You

I'm proud to say that I don't Keep Up with the Kardashians. Frankly, I can't stand them, and consider it a sad commentary on our society that a family so devoid of talent or anything of redeeming value makes millions of dollars, purely through self-promotion and exploiting the voyeuristic society that exists here.

But Bruce Jenner..... now, that's a different deal.

I can't begin to relate to or understand what he has gone through in life...... everything from Olympic athlete, multiple marriages, and entering the fishbowl that is the Kardashian dumpster fire..... they're all foreign to me.

As is, obviously, his upcoming life transformation, as he is on the path for gender reassignment in the intent of living the rest of his life as a female.

I can't begin to understand any of that. But there are fascinating parts to it. For reasons I only partially understand, I plan to tape and watch the "tell-all" interview he recently did with Diane Sawyer, to be broadcast this Friday night.

Regardless of what one may believe regarding gender identity, there is an aspect to all of this that one has to respect - Jenner has apparently "known" for many years that he felt more like a woman than a man, and he is now taking the final steps to be consistent with it. To become a woman. To "own" what he, er, she is.

No more fooling himself and society. No more saying one thing, or looking like one thing, while feeling or being something different.

Would that we were all so strong as that. To not hide behind an image, or a construct. Not fool ourselves into thinking we're one thing, when we're something else altogether. Somewhere in a psychological model, there may actually be self-actualization in what Jenner is doing.

As I wrote in a previous entry...... if you're not funny, know it, and own it. Don't keep telling jokes and trying to be funny.

If you don't have a backbone when things get tough, then don't talk tough. It just isn't credible.

If you don't like something, don't just play along..... say something, or don't participate.

Can we learn something from a soon-to-be transgendered lesbian (yes, Jenner is still attracted to women)? Maybe.

 

No COW Party

It's going to be a long season..... 19 months.

Not Spring, which officially started about 3 weeks ago. That's only 3 months until we melt into Summer here in Northern California. (And "melt" is the operative word here.)

Not baseball season. Though they've extended the schedule, that will mercifully be over in just under 7 months from now. Though sometimes it seems like a single game feels like 7 months.

Nope, I'm talking about the political season. Or, specifically, the Presidential Campaign Season. 

Oy.

Within the last couple of weeks, we have the first two official entrants in the race - Ted Cruz and Rand Paul. Both first-term Republican senators, Cruz hails from Texas and Paul comes from Kentucky. Both also sit on the edges of the Republican party, with no description of either getting very far until the phrase "Tea Party" comes up.

It's only a matter of time (Sunday?) before Hillary declares, we know that's inevitable. Other Democrats likely to run include current VP Joe Biden, and Elizabeth Warren. It's likely to be a crowded Republican field, with names such as Scott Walker, Jeb Bush, Chris Christie, and Marco Rubio expected to join the fray, and potential entries from previous candidates Mitt Romney, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, and Mike Huckabee.

Pretty clear how things are going to line up on the national scale - the Republicans are going to be trying to fix all the disasters that have happened while we've had a Democrat running the country, while the Democrats are going to be trumpeting the progress that has been made over the past few years, despite a highly obstructionist Republican-led Congress.

Oy.

So let's go to COW. You don't remember what COW is? Well, it's Chuck's Own World, which I introduced a few weeks ago in a post. It's where I make the rules. Don't like it? Fine, you don't have to live there. You can live in YOW (Your Own World), but I like COW just fine.

(On a related note, we're having steak for dinner. But I digress.)

Here in COW, we handle politics quite differently. And it's all so simple. You see, here in COW, there are no political parties.

Candidates will simply be nominated and elected based on their own personal policies and statements. There will be no assumptions made, based on a candidate's affiliation with a party. And, probably most importantly, there'd be very few situations in which a politician voted against their own beliefs, simply to make sure their vote fell along party lines. Does anybody really believe that every Congressman or candidate actually believes everything that they vote for (or against)? Or do some become obligated to vote a certain way, purely because that's the way his/her party is voting?

Pretty clearly, politics has become a very polarizing subject in the U.S.. Identify yourself as a Democrat, and you must be a free-wheeling liberal who wants to give handouts ("entitlements") to everybody, raise taxes, and cow-tow to every foreign government. If you're a Republican, you want to hoard money with your wealthy friends, have everybody subscribe and ascribe to "traditional values", and declare war on any government that doesn't fall in line with us.

Nuance? Not fitting those profiles perfectly? Sheesh....... I don't think that's possible in the U.S. You're either "with us", or you're "against us".

In fact, if you think about it, you have to ask a question about the dominant political parties in the U.S.. Regardless of whether a candidate declares themselves a Democrat or a Republican, is simply aligning with either party an asset, or is it a liability? I don't really know much about him, but my understanding is that one of the challenges Rand Paul is going to have is "aligning more closely" with his own party. Apparently he has a bunch of views (again, I don't know details, I've simply read this) which are somewhat at odds with the prevailing platforms of the Republican Party. So, if you think about it, Democrats aren't gong to vote for him (because he's a Republican), and it sounds like many Republicans likewise don't believe he's "Republican enough." 

Paul is an example of a general trend. Both parties have become extremely splintered, to the extent that there are almost "micro-parties" which don't get along within the main party. So as a candidate, you not only have opponents in the other party (presumably 100% of that party is against you), but you also have opponents within your own party. So isn't it a liability to even declare yourself as a Republican or a Democrat, given that not even everybody in your own party will be behind you (except, maybe, with a knife in your back)? It seems to me that it is.

Oddly enough, Paul's dilemma is exactly the kind of thing that will work perfectly in COW. In COW, we want people who think through every major issue, have an opinion, and stand behind it. (Note: I have no idea what Paul's actual views are, and I don't mean this in any way as an endorsement of him. I am simply using his situation as an example of the semi-dysfunctionality in our current political system.) What we don't want are people who adopt positions almost exclusively because those positions work best within the framework of their parties - even if they don't understand them, or worse yet, don't fully believe them.

In COW, we're going to do things kind of like the recent Chicago mayoral election...... and kind of like your school board, or other local elections. No primaries on COW - everybody just runs on their merits and viewpoints. While in Chicago, the candidates did ascribe to political parties, they all ran against each other in February (i.e. there weren't any primaries), and since no single candidate received a majority of the vote, the top 2 candidates then had a run-off. As it turned out, both candidates were Democrats - something that could obviously not happen in a national election, where each party jockeys to send their best candidate to the single, big deal in November.

Can't wait to see the jockeying for the next year. Republicans, fighting Republicans, Democrats fighting Democrats, while simultaneously flinging mud at the other side.

Actually, I can wait, because by the time November 2016 rolls around, the remaining candidates will likely just be caricatures that have been shaped by the two parties. And, along the way, who knows what they really believe, because then it becomes more about forming a narrative. And some of those narratives may be "well, I'm from this party, but here are the things I disagree with from my own party....."

Oy.

Party on. Or in COW, party off. You are who you are, can say what you really believe, and there we'll end up with a system, and a President, we can all stand behind. He won't be Frank Underwood - Frank's definitely a U.S. politician. (But dang, is he entertaining.)

As the next 19 months certainly will be.

 

 

Choices, Choices

Made a really, really tough decision this week. One that would probably shock people.

Shelley and I almost..... almost..... almost decided to buy a house and move out of our current one.

Say what?

Yeah, it's true.

We absolutely love our current house. It was terrific when we bought it - dramatic on the inside, and stunning on the outside. We've updated and improved the inside, which is almost 3200 square feet. The outside drew us to the house in the first place - almost 1/3 of an acre, immaculately landscaped, with an outdoor kitchen on a covered deck, and a beautiful salt-water pool. A small look at the backyard is below.

But we've been quietly looking for something that might be just as nice, and more appropriate as we watch the calendar flip over month after month. (Or, in electronic terms, as it scrolls to the right.) The fact is, trudging to the second floor of our house isn't always easy on aging knees, and for as beautiful as the backyard is, it's a tremendous amount of work..... most of which Shelley does.

A few days ago we found an amazing house - a single-story which is beautiful inside, the right size, with an amazing integrated video/audio/climate control/lighting/security system, and a nice (albeit much smaller) property with a pool, outdoor grill/bar area, and more. The money seemed to be about right, and we even verbally made an offer which seemed like it would have been accepted.

But we changed our mind. Or really, we flip-flopped several times over the course of 2 days. And then, finally it was me who said "no". In simplest terms, I felt the location wasn't right, and I had a couple of concerns about the property which I won't elaborate on.

Was it a unanimous decision? No. But give Shelley immense, immense credit. She acknowledged to me that she'd already been "putting the furniture in the rooms"...... but aside from a few questions, she quickly put this behind her. No anger on her part. No pouting. 

Okay, a little pouting.

But this note isn't really about the house. It's about the decision, or really, the difficulty and consequences of making tough decisions.

I'm a strong, strong believer that by the time someone reaches my age, their stock in life is a product of their decisions. Good decisions, bad decisions. This might seem naive, but for the vast majority of people, there really are only a couple of things which are completely out of their control - those being (1) their pure, native talents and intelligence; and (2) the environment they are born and raised in. Virtually everything else that comes after it is a choice - how hard one works in school, what kind of activities they participate in, even their friends and the type of people they hang out with. Later, it translates to things such as where they go to college, do they focus on school or partying, and such. And obviously, their choice of spouses, places to live, etc.....

And usually, the best decisions are the toughest decisions. Meaning, you either have to give something up which you really want, or move into the unknown, or do something which is extremely uncomfortable.

I pretty much hate making tough decisions. Even when forced to choose between great options, such as the two beautiful properties, I struggle, waffle, and try to avoid them. Heck, it's hard for me to figure out what to order when I go to a restaurant with more than 6 entreés - I'm supposed to decide where to live?

But just because I don't particularly enjoy making tough choices doesn't mean that I take the easy path. Fact is, I've taken some big risks and ventured "deep into the unknown" on more than one occasion..... and usually, those risks were the ones that paid off in spades. 

Probably the two biggest "professional" decisions I made took high leaps of faith.  The first - despite being content working for IBM in New York, I left behind a pretty decent salary, moved nearly 3000 miles away (to a state where I literally knew only one person), and enrolled in business school...... knowing that I was probably going to leave school with huge student loans, and hopefully a decent chance at a job.

Yep, that worked out.

Many years later, I decided to leave my job and join a company that was nearly 150 miles away from my home, implying that I would be extending (for an indefinite amount of time) the "nomadic" existence I had been briefly doing..... meaning that I would leave home ridiculously early on Monday mornings, not see Shelley for around 4 days, and have to manage a second household, while working anywhere from 50-80 hours a week and balancing international travel along the way.

Wow...... that one worked out well. So well that I don't feel pressed to quickly search for gainful employment again.

Have I been lucky? Sure. Things have usually gone smoothly for me when I've entered the unknown. It doesn't for everybody, I know that. But when that happens, you make a decision to move on, and execute.

Conversely, I've seen a lot of people afraid to take risks..... whether it's re-location, changing companies, walking away from relationships that are dysfunctional, or something else, I've seen a ton of people who "soldier on". In simplest terms, they've taken the path of least resistance, and then been miserable. Or worse, express jealousy or resentment at others (such as myself) who "find themselves" in a better position. "Find themselves" is in quotations, because in my experience, most folks who are in the better positions got there through hard work and making difficult, risky decisions when paid off.

Risk vs. reward. The axiom still holds. The highest risk decisions usually lead to the highest rewards.

Take a risk. Make the hard call.

As for me, I'm just happy with a tremendous decision that I benefitted from.

The amazing woman who I've been with for over 18 years chose me. 

Boy, was I lucky with that decision. 

No City for Old Men

A couple of quick notes before I get started here....

  • I've been really delinquent getting a new post out..... I'll definitely be better. But I have an excuse - Shelley and I had a 6-day visit with great friends of ours, the first 3 days in Las Vegas, and the final 3 days back "home". We had a fantastic time, but my "writing time" obviously didn't exist, and I've been catching up with things in general as well. I'll make sure I get out at least one new post each week going forward, partly because it is possible to queue them up.
  • If you like my writing, or the way I think, or both, you can subscribe to the blog. At the bottom right at the end of this, there's a "Subscribe via e-mail" prompt. Click it, and you'll get me every time I write here.

Now back to our regular programming......

Sometimes strange things happen in strange places. Like getting sentimental. In Vegas, of all places.

My first trip to Viva Las was in the spring of 1994. I was in my second year of business school, and a group of 5 or 6 of us went on a spring break trip in the southwest part of the county. Flying into and out of Phoenix, we took in spring training games in the Phoenix area..... convoyed up to the Grand Canyon...... trekked around Zion National Park for a couple of days...... visited Bryce Canyon and saw the funky rock formations there. And then, the last day before returning to Phoenix, we stopped in Vegas for a night.

We were in Las Vegas for probably only about 12-16 hours, most of it at night, staying in a small hotel a block or two off the southern end of the Strip. Tired from a day of driving, and pretty conservative guys as a whole, we didn't do anything that night..... we just turned in. But I woke up reasonably early the next day, walked out of the hotel and up part of the world-famous Strip. It wasn't like anything I'd seen before, or probably will see again.

And no, I didn't take Vegas by storm, winning enough money to pay back my school loans. Truth be told, I didn't know how anything worked, and I don't think I even put any money into a slot machine (though I later learned that one of my friends had likewise gotten up early, and left a little bit of money in a slot machine).

But I was fascinated. And Vegas had some specific draws for me, so I was back several times over the next few years. By my estimation, I probably have been to Vegas about 8 times since then, with over half of those in the latter half of the '90's. 

First off, I loved the math of blackjack. I learned how to count cards, so I could expect to pretty much breakeven when I played. Of course, being financially conservative, I didn't (and don't) have the nerve to wager big stakes (anything more than $5 or $10/hand), because of how fast you can start losing..... In fact, in my second (this time solo) trip to Vegas, I spent an entire day walking up and down the strip, stopping in every casino to understand their stakes and the subtle nuances in their rules (# of decks they used; did they hit "soft 17"; did they only let you double down on 10 or 11; did they allow a double down after you split, etc....) which impact the odds. And then I sat down for an epic 6-hour run at a single $2 table at the Excalibur. The epic part being that I never left my seat, despite having probably 5 drinks. And I think I probably lost about $10 after all was said and done.

Another allure that brought me back multiple times was the annual King of the Beach tournament, held at the Hard Rock Hotel. This was back in the late 90's, when 2-man beach volleyball was at its peak, with stars such as Karch Kiraly, Randy Stoklos, and the "Primitive Prince" (my personal favorite) Scott Ayakatubby. Each September, the year's King of the Beach (single player) would be crowned in a round-robin tournament, in which all the top players partnered with everybody else..... sometimes even with guys they really disliked. And over the course of the 3- or 4-day event, you'd hear in the stands about which players had been partying too hard the night before. It was Vegas - great weather during the day, guys and girls in the bleachers in swimsuits and suntan lotion, and then having fun at night - which for me, meant playing low-stakes blackjack, on or off the strip.

But that Vegas is gone. Or at least it's gone for me.

For me, Vegas is the Strip. Sure, there's the downtown area, with its grittiness, but I've always spent almost all of my time on or near the Strip. And in the early days, that meant going to the Hacienda at the south end.... the Luxor, Excalibur, Tropicana, and MGM Grand just north of that..... continuing on to Bally's, Harrah's, Barbary Coast, the Flamingo, Aladdin, and Imperial Palace on the east side of the strip. On the west side, there were a couple of storefronts and a Holiday Inn that I actually stayed at once - and then a lot of more or less empty space leading into the majestic Caesars' Palace, with its dramatic entry. The Mirage and Treasure Island had recently been built, but beyond them were vestiges of the original Vegas, with the Frontier, Stardust, and Circus Circus. And across from them were stalwarts like the SandsRiviera, and the Sahara.

But importantly, there was space. When you looked down the Strip, you could see the curve of the road. Sure, you also saw a few giant signs advertising the big acts ("Danny Gans" and "Siegfried and Roy" at the Mirage were terrific!). But there was actually space. Each property had its own character, and there were distinctions as you transitioned from one to the next. And most of the big hotel/casinos were set well back from the road, such that walking the Strip felt like a journey to a lot of different lands. In a few minutes, you crossed from Rome (Caesars') to an oasis (Mirage) to the high seas (Treasure Island), and they all had their own character. 

Now..... it's different. Last week, Shelley and I spent 3 days in Vegas with some wonderful friends; our most recent visit had been in 2010. It's dramatic just how much change has happened in those 5 years.

You might have noticed that some of the places I listed above are in italics. For those who've been to Vegas recently, you know why - it's because all of those places no longer exist. Most of them have been torn down completely and replaced with bigger, more glamorous hotel/casinos that represent something new. The places that I've seen go up are amazing - they include Mandalay Bay; Delano; New York, New York; Monte Carlo; Bellagio; Paris; the Venetian and Palazzo; the Wynn and Encore; the entire City Center complex (Aria, Cosmopolitan, and Vdara); and Linq. The Aladdin was renovated, and then re-envisioned to become Planet Hollywood. Where the Barbary Coast used to be, a modestly-sized but obviously classy place (the Cromwell) now sits. And all of these places are fantastic, with world class entertainment and food in virtually every one of them.

On top of all of the big new properties, though, another transition has happened, and much of it has taken place within the last 5 years. Actually, the transition has occurred below, or in front of, all of the new properties, and even some of the old properties. Vegas real estate is both expensive and lucrative, so every square inch that can be covered with a business is now covered with ways for somebody to get your money. Chain restaurants.... souvenir shops..... even businesses like CVS or Walgreens now litter the sidewalks. All of that open space - gone. The ability to look down the Strip and see how the road curves, and to pick out the high-rise casinos that are a half-mile down the road - gone. Now, when you look up and down the strip, you just see a littering of bright lights, billboards, and flashing signs. You can hardly see the road, or tell one place from another. 

Frankly, it's overwhelming. In a way, Vegas has always been oppressive because of its glitz and glamour. But now the oppressiveness isn't just inside the casinos, it's on the very streets and sidewalks. There's just no getting away from it. And some of it is pretty comical, as you see how things are integrated, or not integrated, into the existing properties. For example, at the Treasure Island, there used to be a great, fun show that would play several times a night. A small lagoon was in front of the hotel - on one side of the lagoon, a stately boat "sailed" along..... and from the other side, a dastardly pirate ship set its sights on the former boat. Over the course of a few minutes, cannon fire, rope swinging, and swordplay ensued, all accompanied by dramatic and suitable music and an "oohing and ahh-ing" crowd on the sidewalk. I can't even remember which side ultimately emerged victorious, but that didn't matter - the point was, this was "Treasure Island", and there was a pirate ship battle right out front! It was awesome, and consistent with the theme and character of the place.

Flash forward to 2015. Now there's a Gilley's restaurant, CVS, and a Señor Frog's (!) right where the lagoon is or was. And perched right in front of them are the original 2 ships that took part in the multiple nightly battles. Being "out of place" doesn't really state things properly.... it was just weird for anybody with memories of the "old" Vegas - which really isn't that old.

Mind you, there's a lot of fun to be had in Vegas. Obviously, if you like gambling, few places in the world can match it. I think every noteworthy chef has multiple eateries in the city, and my limited sampling suggests that most are probably pretty good. (And treat yourself to Jean-Philippe's Patisserie in either the Bellagio or Aria - the pastries are ridiculously good.) Of course the shows are also pretty notable, with a mix of the old (Donny and Marie!) and the new. The sheer density of entertainment and good food that you can pack into every 24-hour period is stunning.

IMG_0915.jpg

But the allure of Vegas is now different. Or really, the soul...... the character of the place...... seems to be different. It's not that Vegas wasn't always about money - face it (and I do so), it always has been about money. But previously, it was also about the environment. It was about the mystique. It was about the imagination of being somewhere else in the world, living a glamorous life and seeing exotic things that you didn't ordinarily see. And most of that is now gone, from the moment you step outside the casinos and see the wall-to-wall commercialism.

Will Shelley and I go back? Certainly. But we'll look at Vegas with different eyes, as we already started to do while on this trip. And part of this was unavoidable. You see, after all of the trips I've taken there over the years, something inconceivable happened.

I got lost.

Twice.


Welcome to My World. I'll feel safer, will you?

It's my world. I make the rules. 

(Okay, my wife was visiting a friend in a different part of the state yesterday and today, so the house is all mine. Well, mine and Sammy's. But power went to my head.)

A concept I'll return to periodically in this blog - if I was the unilateral authority, what would I change? These will generally be political, societal, etc.... Things that are polarizing in nature. Things that I rarely comment much on in the benign world of Facebook..... And, as they tend to be things that people usually hold strong feelings for, things that may ultimately cost me some friendships. Hopefully that won't be the case, but I'm realistic.

I've bitten my tongue on a subject that I feel very strongly about. Most people don't have any idea how I really feel, even though it's a subject that comes up from time to time. So I'll just be blunt.

I hate guns.

And inexplicably tied into that, I hate the "right to bear arms" movement that is borne out of verbatim reading of a document that was written in the 1700's, rather than an understanding of the intent of the document.

Back when the Constitutional right to bear arms was created, the world was a different place. There weren't 50 states - the very state I live in wouldn't be admitted to the union until 60 years later. The biggest danger wasn't from colonists - it was from Indians encroaching on newly-claimed land. Guns were different too - they were single-fire, slow-loading muskets or rifles. The primary point of being allowed to bear arms was simple - it was to provide defense against Indians or other marauders who might try to take over home and property. 

Did the writers of the Constitution (specifically, the Second Amendment) project forward how technology would change firearms, to the point of being automatic or semi-automatic weapons, and/or small enough to inconspicuously carry around on a daily basis (which has led to "right to carry" laws)? Certainly not - why would they? 

Yet while the world has evolved, and technology has moved on and transformed every part of our lives, people cling to literal wording from 226 years ago to justify behaviors that the rest of the world must look at and scratch their head. 

So in my world, I'm going to return to the "spirit" of the Constitution..... i.e. the intent. Here's the changes coming in my kingdom.

Right-to-carry...... gone. If you're found in public (i.e. anywhere off your property) carrying a firearm, you're seeing the inside of a jail cell for a year on your first offense. Second offense - make it 5 years. Third offense? Sorry, 3 strikes and you're out. And all of those are assuming that you don't actually brandish or discharge the gun - doing those would make it infinitely worse. For those thinking that right-to-carry deters crime (or "more guns, less crime") - read this, because it doesn't. If anything, it increases some crimes, though that's uncertain. But it doesn't appear to reduce crime in any way.

Home defense..... that's what the intent was, so I'll offer a little leniency here. In my kingdom, for every trained and certified adult (yes - trained and certified), one single-loading firearm may be kept in the household, in an approved gun safe or locker. That's it. You and your wife have both been trained and certified, and have the right storage? Okay, you can have two single-loading firearms. Carry them off your property? See the paragraph above. Have more than one per adult? See the paragraph above, the same things apply.

Okay, we've got a problem here - how do we get rid of all the guns that are already out there, and would effectively become illegal? I mean, we Americans are really well-stocked - per Wikipedia, there's about 0.9 guns per U.S. residents. There's only 2 countries that have per capita numbers even half of that, and with all due apologies to them, I'm not sure you would consider Serbia and Yemen to be among the most stable, progressive societies. Face it, we have a fascination with guns. If the numbers are right, there's somewhere around 300 million guns in the country..... So how many of them would become illegal, and how would we get them off the street?

Gun ownership is estimated to be 20-30% overall for the country. (Shocker..... it's higher in the South. Hmmm.....) So if there are somewhere around 200 million adults, and 25% want to have a (single) gun, we only "need" 50 million guns..... so how will we get rid of the other 250 million that are out there?

Simple. Sort of simple, I mean. The government buys them. Give people incentive to turn them in. And by that, I mean real money.

I'll admit that I don't know what guns cost. But whatever the fair value is, that's what my government pays. Handguns have a price, rifles have a price, semi-automatics and automatic guns have a price. Bring them to your local "firearm recovery drop-off" location, and we'll hand you a check. It's that easy. And with my proclamation today, you have 90 days to turn in all of your excess guns..... starting June 16th, my simple rules surrounding right-to-carry and guns for home defense go into effect.

And the money for this? It comes from a few places. Honestly, law enforcement becomes easier, and doesn't need to have their arsenals, so a small piece of the money comes from there. But most of it we're going to get from taxes - and most of it being corporate. The corporate tax structure is all screwed up, particularly the way some companies structure their entities and take advantage of loopholes. (Note: I'm actually not referring to Apple, which was the single-largest corporate tax-payer in the U.S. last year, and has basically adopted a strategy of "tax us where we make the profit, we will keep the remaining money there rather than being taxed a second time by moving the money back to the U.S.". There are other companies which use far more non-sensical structures to avoid taxes.) There's a lot of money that could be recovered by fixing corporate tax structures, and I'm putting some of it here.

But I digress. Or really, just went too much into the "how", rather than the "what". Because it's the "what" that matters.

So in my regime (Chuck's Own World, or COW), y'all have 90 days to bring your guns in.

Welcome to COW. I know I'll feel safer. Will you?

Oh, and back in the real world - if you ask me to go shooting with you at the range, I'll probably have something better to do. Sorry..... it's just not my thing.

Not a Laughing Matter....

Ah, science. Focusing on all the important things.

Most folks probably saw the new study that came out recently, answering a very vital question: how much do some people "exaggerate" about themselves?  (Careful...... definitely, kind of, semi-NSFW......) Here's the real size of the wave.

So many jokes to be made..... and, certainly, a few more people pulling out rulers, tape measures, (yardsticks? Whoa......), or, in some cases, micrometers in order to see where on the charts they fall. (And no, there is no truth to the rumor that I'm investing in a CMM or OMM for this purpose, for those in the trade.)

But, alas, there is something else that I'm guessing people of both sexes over-rate, far more than the, ahem, "unit" of measure.

It's far more tragic, and sadly, a more awkward situation. Look around, because you see it every day. I even fall prey to it.

This tragedy? Simple: nobody is as funny as they think they are.

I mean, I'm hilarious..... it's your fault if you don't understand that I'm ridiculously funny. Right?

But in all seriousness - for those with a more advanced sense of humor, what is the graceful way to react when a spectacularly unfunny person offers a spectacularly unfunny comment or idea which they feel is side-splitting?

Happens to me all the time. Not sure what makes me a magnet for it, but that seems to be the case. Without naming names, I have family members as well as friends who, well, over-estimate just how funny some of the things they say are. And over-estimate is being kind - in some cases, there just is nobody who would think that some of the things they say in the effort to be funny succeed.

Not to say that it doesn't go both ways, of course. The same people that make spectacularly unfunny jokes that I cringe at sit there stone-faced when I crack an epic joke. Oh, and my jokes are epic, I'll be the first to tell you that.

So while science is off measuring..... well, you know...... we have no way to quantify or measure how funny somebody is. And dang it, I want to know when I start dealing with somebody exactly what the size and shape of their funny bone is. Instead, it's other "bones" that are being measured.

(And yes, I couldn't help going there. But was it funny?)

 

 

Name That Two

Just some quick irreverence for today, and looking for some feedback from friends who know us pretty well.

I think I mentioned it somewhere previously, but Shelley and I would love to become participants on The Amazing Race. We love travel, are good problem solvers, and probably have the right mix of personalities to make for pretty fun TV.

But there's a problem.

As viewers of the show know, each "team" has some sort of tag-line. Something like "College Sweethearts"..... or "Gym Co-owners"..... or "Long-Distance Pen Pals"..... "Beauty Contest Judges"....... You know, something that's kind of interesting and easy for television audiences to grab onto.

For us, the problem has always been "what's our tagline?"

I mean, we're kind of normal. We don't climb mountains together, we didn't meet while on a safari in South Africa, we aren't prison wardens...... We met in a fairly normal way, have a pretty normal relationship, worked relatively normal jobs, and have fairly normal interests and hobbies. Not to say that we're boring (or am I saying that?), but we don't exactly have that nice, sexy TV tagline. "Bickering Spouses" doesn't exactly grab you, you know? I mean, all spouses bicker, right?

Shelley's had a couple of ideas recently, calling us either "The Odd Couple," or "The Opposites." The reason is pretty simple for some who know us - a number of the traditional husband/wife roles are reversed for us. Shelley's the more active/athletic one between us (though I can hold my own)...... I do the grocery shopping and cooking...... Shelley does most of the yard work. She wears the pants in the family (though I do periodically get to see them, or even iron them). I bring her coffee in bed every morning. You get the picture.

So here's where you come in. What should our tagline be? Help us out!

Hey, "Friend"......

Friend...... kind of interesting how the word has morphed in recent years.

Last Friday, I got together with a true friend...... almost 25 years ago, I was the Best Man in his wedding. We had been buddies in college; both of us were hard working, academic, inherently shy. And we shared a common love for volleyball - we had adjacent dorm rooms our first 2 years, overlooking a courtyard that had a makeshift volleyball net strung between 2 trees. All it took many days after dinner was a simple "You playing?" from either of us, and we'd be down there until it got too dark (and sometimes even longer). During our senior year, we were both Resident Advisors at a dorm, and the games continued.

In intervening years, our paths diverged - I moved to New York and eventually to multiple spots in California for school and work..... got married a few years later, but have enjoyed with Shelley the life of relative independence that comes with being "kid-less". Conversely, my friend established roots quickly, marrying his college sweetheart within a year of graduation, becoming a father to 5 kids, living in one town in the midwest since getting his first job. Two very different lives, no doubt about it.

Over the years, we hadn't talked much - a few conversations here and there, and while we have been friends on Facebook for a few years, neither of us are highly active (him less active than myself..... with a wife, 5 kids, and a job, that doesn't leave much time).

About 3 weeks ago, I got a call out of the blue - he was coming to San Francisco for a couple of days for work, and while he had work commitments, we'd be able to get together for a full day until he flew out in the evening. He was staying in San Francisco (115 miles away), so it was a bit of a drive..... but I was happy to do it. We wandered around San Francisco for about 7 hours.... not a resident, maybe we didn't see the best "finds", but that didn't matter. We got great time to catch up. Well over 20 years of separation didn't matter - it was like we hadn't missed a beat. Talking about family, hopes, dreams..... all that cliché stuff. And it was real.

That's a friend.

Got a text this morning. It read, simply, "Hey! Thinking of you, hope you're enjoying retirement....." It was from a guy who I'm meeting for lunch one day in March. And we're both going to have to drive somewhere around 70 miles, just to spend a couple of hours together.

That's a friend.

It's funny how Facebook, in particular, has influenced our idea of what a "friend" is. If you're like me, you have a bunch of connections called "Friends". But are they all really friends? In truth, I could probably divide them up into a few categories:

  • Friends (I mean, actual friends)
  • High school or college acquaintances that you likely "friended" when you first got on Facebook, but probably don't really communicate with
  • Work acquaintances that you would happily get a beer with
  • Work acquaintances that you kind of have to be friends with..... you know, it would be awkward if you turned down their friend request
  • Family members, some of whom you may or may not always see eye-to-eye with
  • People you met through somebody else (such as your spouse), but don't have a real relationship with
  • People you met through Facebook, such as playing a social game

I recently trimmed down my list of "Friends" in Facebook somewhat..... not hugely. But I realized that there were some folks who I just didn't really have a connection with. But I did keep a couple of people who, though they fit in the categories above, really have a category all their own:

  • "Dumpster fires" - those people whose lives look so messed up that you can not avert your eyes..... and fortunately for the voyeurs, they post just about every detail of them.

Hopefully I'm not somebody's dumpster fire. Maybe I am, who knows.

But I'm happy to have the friends that I have.

My Apple, Outside/In (Part 2)

Before I start: I've learned why people can't post comments directly in this blog..... you actually can, but it's not intuitive. If you want to post a comment, simply click on the title of the blog entry, and only that entry will appear, with a "Comments" box at the end of the entry. I've contacted Squarespace (which facilitates the website) and have asked them to "fix" this blog template to make it more intuitive..... I'm not optimistic, but we'll see if they make a change. And in the interim - please post any comments you may have that way!

And so it goes......

Last week I posted about my experience working at Apple.... at least, the portion of it related to the actual work. But there's more to it than just the work itself. So in a much, much shorter post, here are my thoughts about some of the peripheral things that come with being an Apple employee - again, just my perspective. Though I would encourage others (from Apple) to add their comments as well.

The Good:

  • Apple Special Events - Google has earned a reputation as being an employer that does just about everything it can to make its employees' lives easier, with free food, dry cleaning, transportation, etc..... and while Apple doesn't rival that, it does have a bunch of recurring and non-recurring events that are a lot of fun. It has fairly regular beer bashes (campus-wide) and individual group events. Plus, with Apple's heavy involvement in the music business, there periodically are announced or surprise concerts that happen on the main courtyard, including pretty big-name artists. Plus, you never know who you're going to bump into in the company store on-campus. During random visits, I bumped into Keith Urban (4-5 years ago), and the cast of Glee once. Pretty cool.
  • Discounts and other benefits - Employees do get discounts on virtually all of the Apple products, so it's easy to get "geared up" pretty inexpensively. Plus, if you work in the new product area, you periodically get to try unreleased products privately, and/or have the opportunity to use test units (after the products have been released). Needless to say, employees can become peoples' best friends around holidays or birthdays, when people want to get Apple gear.
  • "Being a Rock Star" - This isn't really true in the Bay Area, where anytime you turn around you bump into an employee from Google, Facebook, Amazon, etc..... But the further you get from the Bay Area, the more notoriety (and some semblance of reverence) comes with saying you work for Apple. Going to parties in the Sacramento area, it was kind of cool to be able to say I worked in the new products team at Apple - people would get really excited, interested, talkative. And where it really hit me - over Christmas 2012, Shelley and I took a cruise that started in Australia and ended in New Zealand, and approximately 60% of the people on the cruise were Australian. Walking around the ship, you saw a few Kindles, but aside from that, the only other devices you saw, and the only company people really talked about, were Apple devices. And when I told people that I worked for Apple in Cupertino, it was really neat to see the response - something like 7000 miles from home.

The Not-so-Good:

  • Not talking about your work - There is a reality in working on new products that you can't tell anyone, even your spouse, what you're working on..... and that's kind of tough! I spent almost 2.5 years working on portables (laptops), so Shelley realized generally what I was working on, but never specifics. Most of the rest of the time, she didn't really have much of an idea what I was working on at any point in time. When I was tired or frustrated, I really couldn't tell her why..... and though she knew I was traveling regularly, I could never tell her a schedule for anything. Frequently I'd be able to say "see this new announcement - that's what I've been working on." But it is kind of hard to just have a major part of your life that's pretty off-limit for conversation, even with the people you love and spend time with.
  • The "I'm thinking about buying a phone....." questions - Some people have to deal with this more than others..... but one of the most difficult, and personally frustrating, situations I dealt with was when friends or family indirectly (or even directly) asked me to divulge information about what products were coming out when. The most common: "I'm thinking of buying a phone in the next couple of months..... should I wait, do you have something coming out soon?" Usually it was about phones, but sometimes it was about iPads or computers. In most cases, I didn't know specific information about what was coming out or when..... but that wasn't the point. Simply asking me the question put me in an incredibly awkward position - while I didn't want people I cared about to make bad purchasing decisions, I could literally be fired if I revealed anything about the products coming out. So people were asking me a question I literally couldn't answer. I would try to de-fuse this (or really avoid the question entirely) by making sure people realized I couldn't talk about my work - and that if they valued the relationship, they wouldn't put me in the position where I could get fired if I said anything. But when the questions did inevitably come, I did my best to simply say "I don't work on that, and don't know anything more than I read in the media..... but based on when we released our last version of the product, and the normal product cycle, you can probably make as good a guess as I can as to when the next one is coming out." And usually that sufficed. But it was definitely uncomfortable.
  • Target practice - For all the Apple advocates that exist, there are obviously anti-Apple folks as well, and other more "neutral" parties who simply like to create controversy or chide the Apple crowd. I make no bones about it - I'm an Apple homer. I have pretty strong opinions about most of the companies that are major competitors of Apple, and in a future post, I'll share specific thoughts on some of them. But for all my "Apple homer-ism", I also recognize that on an individual product basis, there are devices, or features, that other companies offer that are at least as good or better than what Apple's products have. But I don't need to hear snide comments or chiding about how bad, or expensive, Apple products are, merely to be controversial or start a fight. Apple's not for everyone, that's cool, but don't just get in my face or be a jerk because I worked there and love their products and ecosystem.

Hope people enjoy this..... for any of the Apple crowd that reads this - what do you think are the great, or not-so-great "extra-curricular" things that come from working at Apple? Do tell!

A Blessing, for a Valentine

Thought I was going to write part 2 of my "Apple, Inside/Out" entry..... but then something more important came along. I'll get back to that next week.

For most folks, Saturday is a special day - Valentine's Day. For me, I get to celebrate back-to-back, as today (February 13th) is Shelley's birthday. But really, I should celebrate every day. I'm not sure what I did (apparently something very right) to deserve her, but I'm crossing my fingers every day that I don't screw it up.

Among the things I've learned in our 18 years together:

  • The best things do come in small packages
  • If the song "Happy" comes on, she can't stop grinning ear-to-ear, tapping her toes, and picking up Sammy to dance with her. It's absolutely adorable. (And there's video proof.)
  • Passion can be measured - it's 5'1"
  • When she gets the little glint in her hazel eyes and the smile on her face, it's absolutely irresistible. I feel like I'm looking into the stars when I see that combination.
  • How much does she pay attention to detail? She knows which faucet Sammy prefers, as evidenced by how he drinks the water it produces. (For the record, it's in our master bathroom.)
  • For all she does to keep in shape, her biggest muscle is her heart. She's always thinking of others ahead of herself.
  • She's the only lady I know who wants people to ask her age - go ahead, ask her. Because if you have to ask her, you'll be stunned to hear the answer.
  • She will go to all lengths to keep the house clean - even standing on (and breaking) the tank of the toilet. Which she fixed herself.
  • She is the best friend anybody could possible have - "thoughtful", "compassionate", and "considerate" don't even come close to describing her.
  • Don't ever, ever, ever talk during her backswing
  • She makes me the best I can possibly be, and partly for that, I'm the luckiest man in the world

Please join me in wishing Shelley a happy birthday - either by sending her an e-mail, or commenting on her Facebook page.

And thanks for stopping by.

My Apple, Inside/Out (Part 1)

As I mentioned in my first post (and thanks for those that provided feedback via Facebook..... I will figure out how to leave comments here!), I'm going to share some of my experiences and thoughts about Apple and its competition in blog entries going forward. So I'll start now. And I apologize in advance for how long this entry will be.

One obvious question is "what's it like to work at Apple?" Here I'll share some of my thoughts, based on my time there. Frankly, it's tough to figure out where to start and what to say, because there's so much.... so obviously, I will leave a lot of very relevant stuff out. I'm going to try to cover this in 2 posts - first, by talking about what the work itself is like, and later about some of the "extra-curricular" consequences/benefits of being "the Apple guy." As I start, I have to make some disclaimers:

  • My experiences are probably not sizably different from anybody working in similar roles in other current high-tech companies (e.g. Google, Amazon, Samsung, etc....). A lot of this is probably not unique to Apple, and thus friends of mine who work in other high-tech companies will say "so what?" This entry will probably be more appealing / interesting to those not within high-tech.
  • My roles were in new product manufacturing, so I had visibility to the hardware engineering development process, but only limited visibility to other areas such as software engineering, marketing, or other disciplines. 
  • Similarly, while there are common themes, not every product area is managed the same way. What I experienced working on Mac and iPod (and Watch) products is likely not identical to the experiences of those working on the iPhone, iPad, or other product lines.
  • Different organizations obviously have their own processes and deliverables; even within Worldwide Operations, people with responsibility for factory operations have different cadences than those in procurement, which differ from those in supply/demand management, which differ from those in materials management, etc.....

So with all that said..... a word about confidentiality.

To this day, confidentiality is taken extremely seriously. On my first day in 2008, I completed orientation, and shadowed a colleague to a meeting regarding the new laptops being developed. Prior to the meeting, we had printed out a copy of a form, which I signed. As we walked in the room a minute or two before it started, the meeting's leader looked at me and asked my colleague "Who is he, and has he signed the NDA (Non-Disclosure Agreement)?" In fact, that was the document I had signed; we turned it in, and I was allowed to stay. I have no doubt that I would have been asked to leave if I hadn't already signed the NDA.

The physical paper NDAs have largely (if not entirely) been replaced by an on-line project management system which includes NDA information..... and for some super-secret projects, separate "private" systems have been developed, so that people can't inadvertently see project code numbers or names. But a fundamental tenet remains, which is that people are generally only exposed to information on the projects they're working on. If you're not working on something, why do you need to know about it? As the company has grown, it's been difficult to maintain this level of secrecy as effectively; part of this is because the sheer level of activity and "hallway chatter" has risen, so invariably you hear things about other products. But part of the cause is external - there is now an entire industry built around figuring out what Apple is doing, leading to an incredible number of rumors..... many untrue, but some true. As employees, you hear many of these rumors, and it leads to questions, suspicions..... and more internal chatter than is needed. 

Now, on with the show.

Apple is fueled by new product development, pure and simple. While thousands of people in Cupertino have critical responsibilities to execute sustaining operations, sustaining product engineering, AppleCare, etc..... new product development is the fuel that makes the company go. Apple reported sales of 74 million iPhones last quarter - that's a staggering number. For the past several years, new phones have been introduced every Fall; should that hold true (and having never been involved with the iPhones, I don't know one way or the other), there will be roughly a year's worth of shipment, trouble-shooting, and support that has to be done after the product introduction. But the reality is that the manufacturing capacities, the support plans, and even product improvement efforts are all conceived and implemented (sometimes completely implemented) prior to the product's introduction. A successful product introduction plan sets the stage for a hopefully smooth sustaining effort (though obviously new issues are found which have to be dealt with). Usually, as was my experience, a hand-off to a product's sustaining team is done within a month or so of product release to the public, and the New Product team (for Operations) starts working on the next product. And obviously, the design engineering team has actually started working on the next generation even earlier.

The work within New Product Operations, and what determines the workload at any point in time, really revolves around 2 cycles which run concurrently:

  • The product development cycle - depending on the significance of the development effort, this can literally be multiple years (in the case of a new product platform), 12-18 months (significant changes to an existing product), or 6-12 months (smaller changes to an existing product). Obviously those durations are approximations, there are exceptions.
  • The weekly cadence of meetings and reviews.

Even now, Apple remains a company whose entire product line could fit on a table. (These days, it would have to be a fairly large table, but a table nonetheless.) Compare that with other hardware companies such as Samsung or HP, who have many, many more products and categories. As has been well-chronicled, one of Steve Jobs' famous talking points is that it's very important to say "no" in order to retain focus on the products. With the introduction of the Watch, there will still be only 5 major hardware product lines: Watch, iPhone, iPad, iPod, and Mac (desktop and portable). Each line has anywhere from 1-4 major products (setting aside minimal differences such as memory or screen size of Macs). Some of the products use common, or at least similar, main components. But the key point is this: there are few enough products that the top executives can know exactly what is happening with every major new product development. And, in fact, they insist on it, which is where the weekly cadence comes in. Intense focus on the details every single week by executives is one of the main reasons Apple is successful - problems generally don't slip through the cracks, they are addressed quickly. Problems in product development which could linger for weeks at companies where I previously worked are typically dealt with in 24-48 hours at Apple, because they are highlighted quickly, and resources marshaled to resolve them quickly. (Note: I don't mean to suggest that all product introductions are "defect free" - far from the case. But the reality is that not every problem can be detected in the relatively small number of units built during the development timeframe.... some issues only become evident when millions of units are built and delivered to customers.)

So what were my individual workdays like? That depended on the answers to a couple of questions:  

  1. Was I in Cupertino, or was I in Asia to participate in a build event?
  2. What day of the week was it?
  3. Was there a significant problem that I was having to address? 

In other words, there really weren't "typical days".... but some basics did apply.

While in Cupertino, my counterparts and I typically put in 60-80 hour work weeks, if not more. Time physically in the office probably averaged 45-50 hours from Monday-Friday, but that's really the tip of the iceberg. Even before people arrived in the office each morning, they were checking e-mail, dealing with any issues that materialized overnight from activities in Asia..... during the workday, most folks had between 4 and 8 hours of meetings..... and nights aren't free. Far from it, in fact. With the majority of the supply base in Asia, most employees within Operations spent most of the evening working on e-mail, participating in conference calls, or gathering data and / or working on presentation materials. My general impression was that if I received an e-mail that required my response / attention prior to about 10:00 p.m., I wasn't doing my job if I didn't respond that evening. I expected the same of others, and by and large, that's what happened. There are also plenty of examples of people who would still be sending e-mails at midnight, 1:00 a.m., 2:00 a.m., or later..... and I'm not simply referring to executives; that level of passion and dedication exists throughout the rank-and-file.

This dedication wasn't limited to 5 days..... while there was more freedom on weekends, recognition was that "whatever time is necessary to do things right, that's what should be put in." Saturdays and Sunday mornings were times to catch up on what couldn't be completed during the period from Monday-Friday.... and the reality for most folks is that the work week actually starts on Sunday night, as the company's Asian workforce and supplier base is already working on their Monday. Plus, many groups have some type of reporting that they need to provide either Sunday night or Monday morning. During my years with the company, Shelley grew accustomed to the fact that after dinner on Sunday night, I would retreat to my workspace in the house, and she was probably not going to see me again for any meaningful amount of time that evening. I suspect the same was true of most of my colleagues.

The weekly cadence (for Operations) revolved around the New Product Review, or NPR, for the product line. (Other organizations, such as Design Engineering, conduct similar executive reviews weekly, and each organization's leaders typically participated in and supported the complementary organizations' reviews - thus, information travels very quickly. A major issue which is brought up in the Engineering review is expected to be discussed [at least, the implications of the issue] within NPR, for example.) In NPR, presentations are given covering each major product being developed, the main audience being the Operations executive management team (VP's and subordinates, including functional groups such as procurement, operations engineering, etc....). For each product, the review is led by the New Product Operations Product Manager, and attended by cross-functional members. And the agenda? It varies, depending on what phase of development the product is in. Very early on, the updates are light - primarily focusing on the schedule, technology challenges, high-level plans for capacity, and the like. As the product starts becoming more developed, issues are identified, and representative team members are brought in to address the issues - including potentially asking for help, if needed. NPR was in many ways the culmination of the week's effort, particularly for teams under the microscope - even if it was on a mid-week day such as Wednesday or Thursday. The vast majority of the focus of a team with an issue was doing everything possible to be prepared for a successful presentation at NPR - including, ideally, resolving the issue successfully in such a way as to avoid being on the agenda.

Outsiders to Apple may not appreciate the level of attention to detail which exists.... I've touched on it somewhat, but there's more to it than meets the eye. At this point in its existence, virtually every major sub-system within Apple's products comes from internal development efforts..... very little is bought "off the shelf". Displays, batteries, cameras, keyboards, speakers, microphones, enclosures, even most of the major chipsets are the result of internal efforts (obviously in concert with external technology suppliers). Each of those elements has cross-functional teams of engineers, supply chain managers, quality advocates, etc..... Similarly, assembling and testing the products requires highly customized equipment, much of which is collaboratively developed with equipment suppliers. Entire teams now are in-place at Apple to help manage the development and production of the equipment - similar to the development and manufacturing of the product itself. In short, Apple directly manages virtually every element involved with ensuring that the product ramp will be successful - the final assembly, the components used within it, and even the equipment necessary to build it. And through the series of forums that exist on a weekly basis, issues in any and all areas are surfaced, and the teams are kept aligned on schedules and requirements. And in my opinion, this wouldn't be possible without the executive focus that comes from maintaining a narrow product portfolio.

Travel can be extensive, particularly depending on the role. Colleagues of mine have spent literally half of their time in Asia (predominantly China) working with the supply base. (Note: in a future post, I will talk more about some of the realities of the supply base.... so stay tuned.) In my roles, my travel was more moderate - anywhere from 30-70 days/year, with trips ranging from 7-20 days. I spent the majority of my time in either Shanghai or Suzhou, and usually was there with a team of other folks from Cupertino, along with locally-based team members who participating in the development activity and ultimately led the sustaining production effort. In simplest terms, most of those trips were exhausting - the team would be in the supplier's factories 7 days a week (this scaled back to 6 days a week in approximately 2012), typically leaving the hotel via a shuttle bus at about 8:00 a.m., and leaving the factory between 6:00 and 10:00 p.m. (or later, if there are severe issues). The hotels we stayed in were fantastic, 5-star hotels - but also, typically an hour or more from the factory, so the round-trip could easily be 2-3 hours on the road in a day, depending on traffic. And missing in the schedule above is the fact that everyone was on-line before leaving the hotel (and many were working while on the wifi-enabled buses) and usually doing reporting or on calls back to Cupertino late into the evening. So the reality is that once jet lag had been dealt with and the body was acclimated (which usually took 3-4 days to achieve), most folks were busy from at least 7:00 a.m. until 11:00 p.m. or later in work-related activities..... 6 days a week. But conversely, there was also a camaraderie that existed - frequently team members would get together and enjoy great dinners, exploring the city for a couple of hours at night before the inevitable return to work at the hotel. Plus, there was another side which I didn't participate in to any extent - the nightlife, and some legendary stories of folks who partook in it. The simple rule which existed - "anything goes, as long as you make the bus in the morning". And while I never was part of that crowd, there definitely were (and probably still are) some who burned the candle 24 hours a day in China.

And the final main note..... as can be seen, working at Apple is extremely demanding, high-stress, and challenging when it comes to having a work/life balance. One of the first phrases I heard from a manager when I joined Apple was "Apple is a great place for guys who are single..... or want to be." Sadly, there is some truth to that. I've known folks whose relationships deteriorated significantly (or never developed) because of the time commitments and stress involved with working at Apple.

Conversely, though, there's something amazing about the environment at Apple. The reality is, almost everybody buys in and tries to be part if the solution, not part of the problem. More than any other place I've been, people try to help each other, in the interest of getting the job done. It's not unusual for people to step across organizational boundaries and try to solve problems. By and large, there's a collaborative spirit - nobody benefits from a problem being unresolved. Does that happen everywhere? No, and it would be naive to suggest that's the case. But more than anything else, the attitude seems to be "we're all in this together - let's make the best thing we can." And it's exhilarating to be a part of that. My biggest regret in leaving is that I'm no longer part of that team, with an amazing attitude and spirit.

One More THing.....

A question I was frequently asked - has Apple changed since Steve (Jobs) passed? To me, it's not a simple "yes or no" answer. From my perspective, as an employee relatively low on the totem pole, there were no obvious changes. The day-to-day work was the same, the decision-making process was the same, the demands remained as high as ever. But the reality is that the company has grown remarkably within the past 3+ years, including radical growth in the employee base, and has been subject to even more intense media scrutiny in certain areas, such as Apple's responsibility to improve supplier working conditions. There has been evolution in some of Apple's policies and procedures - but are the changes because of the change at the top, or are they the result of other factors related to the growth and scrutiny? In my opinion, both factors contribute - the simple fact is that Apple has changed, but I have no evidence that those changes wouldn't have happened if Steve was alive, as a pure function of size and evolution that was happening within the company and surrounding industrial environment. In other words..... it's different, but I don't think the main reason it's different is because Tim Cook is running the show as opposed to Steve.

 

 

Let's Get This Party Started......

"Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

And so here I am, testing the inscrutable accuracy of Honest Abe. And the inevitable question..... where to start? How do you start writing a blog? How to write something that is interesting and might lead to people wanting to read it or, dare I say, waiting for the next entry?

So let's start at the ending, which led to this beginning.

I recently left my job at Apple, a place I had worked for nearly 7 years.... a place I still love. I will write more.... much more.... about Apple in future posts. Some things may surprise people, others won't. 

My job at Apple was fantastic - during my whole time there, I worked within (Manufacturing) Operations on new (i.e. unreleased) products. Among other things, I worked on several generations of MacBooks / MacBook Pros.... the first multi-colored iPod Touch products, released in 2012..... and most recently, the Apple Watch. I was in supplier factories regularly, including final assembly factories, component supplier operations, and even factories from suppliers who make the leading-edge assembly and test equipment needed to assemble the new products. 

My job was hardly boring; conversely, I was always working on something new. I had (have?) a skillset that led to my being asked to work on several special assignments over the years, leading or helping an effort which needed "fixing". Needless to say, with every product I worked on always being "new", there was always a lot of discovery. And it hardly needs to be said that there was always a lot of excitement around the actual products themselves. Apple is.... exhilarating.

And that's how I knew it was time to leave.

Simply put, I was exhausted.... perpetually.... and just not excited about what I was doing. For 8 years, I had been managing a crazy schedule which required me to travel 145 miles from my home to work very early every Monday morning, work ~50 hours in the office, countless additional hours at night doing e-mail, conference calls, or Excel / Keynote presentations..... while also figuring out how to take care of food and chores in my "second" home until I could come back to my "real" home at the end of the week. Additionally, I was mixing in 30-70 days/year of international travel, with its own rigors. No other way of saying it, but the effect of the schedule was cumulative, and my getting older didn't help. Eventually, there was simply no way that I could recover from the weekly grind - as much as Shelley tried (and she really worked to make our home a haven rather than a chore for me when I was there on weekends), I just couldn't ever catch up.

So as I sat back and said "I'm working at arguably the best company in the world..... on it's newest product line..... and it's just not 'doing it for me'....." it became obvious that it was time for a change. Time to back off. It's something I know a lot of people won't understand - how could you not be excited to be working on that? 

And that was the exact point. I wasn't excited anymore. That's how tired I was. And now, as I'm enjoying "time off," I've started catching up on things. My body is starting to feel better, I'm generally sleeping better - and I'm not missing a moment of it. I miss the people and the products, but not everything else that came with it.

So what's next? I don't know. Will I go back to work at some point? Probably, though it might be quite different than anything I've done before. I won't go back to full-time work in the Bay Area, but could I see myself doing some short-term consulting projects there? Sure, when the time is right. Might I do something part-time or full-time near my home, outside of the high-tech field? Absolutely. Whatever I do will be something I enjoy doing, not because I "have to" do it. I was fortunate to be compensated very well during my entire career, and obviously have benefitted from joining Apple at a terrific point in its history from a stock value perspective. Plus, candidly, Shelley and I live more modestly than many people think, and don't have aspirations of having multiple vacation homes and massive amounts of possessions. Many of our friends have more than us and are still pushing hard for more - that's simply not us.

So what will this blog be? Simple. It'll be me, pretty much unfiltered. I enjoy writing, always have. When I mentioned that I was going to write a blog, a friend who knows me well asked "are you going to write about things other than sports?" Funny, I hadn't really thought to write about sports, despite it being a passion of mine. More realistically, I'm going to write about what comes to mind - my experiences, thoughts on current events, and the like. Hopefully I'll be clever and funny at times.... where appropriate.

I have ideas for several future topics which I will write about. Necessarily, and because I get asked a lot about it (or hear offhand comments), I'm going to write a lot about Apple. I will never deny that I'm an "Apple homer"..... and I'll explain why in future posts.

But I'll write about a lot of other stuff as well. And as I do, maybe I'll make some new friends..... but I might lose some as well. As my opinions on a couple of subjects come out, they might anger friends of mine who I know will disagree - I hope that's not the case, and that we can all respect each other's opinions.

And speaking of opinions - I want yours. As I'm getting the hang of this "blog" and "website" thing, I want to hear what you think. Give me ideas - if there are things you would like me to talk about, questions about the website, or any suggestions, please comment. I will read every comment. As a note, I will be adding a couple more sections to the website that aren't currently there now (such as a photo gallery), so what you see now is just the beginning. How it will evolve may partly be up to you. 

Thanks for making it this far..... and stay tuned!